If you do something at the drop of a dime you do it very fast, pretty much instantaneously, without too much thought, planning, or hesitation. - Wordpress.com
Things can change at the drop of a dime too. Your whole life can change in a matter of seconds. Change for the better and change for worse. It's interesting to think about.
I'm only two, I haven't had a lot of life's experiences yet, but people go from being single to married, with a joyful 'I do,' from unemployed to employed with a simple 'you're hired,' and from player to winner, with the last ditch effort as the buzzer blows and the ball glides into the net. It's amazing how fast good changes happen.
I like to fall asleep fast. At nap time, Mom takes me to my room and snuggles me in my favorite blanket and we rock in Dad's old Lazyboy and she sings me a song. It doesn't take but 5 minutes and my breathing slows, my legs stop twitching and I completely give into a slumber and I'm fast asleep and that's a good thing. I really need my naps to grow, to get bigger and stronger. I need my strength to beat this cancer.
Not so good things happen quickly too, like getting a diagnosis of cancer, or hearing 'you're fired' or hearing that a friend or family member was in a serious accident or has congestive heart failure or kidney failure or a heart attack, like losing everything in a tornado or a robbery or an assault. It's the moment after the bad news/event happens that people tend to say time stops.
The emotions flood your system, you can't hear or see straight, and you're not certain you're even standing on the ground. It takes a while for the dust to settle and for a path to be seen. Sometimes the grief is too much and we can hardly see where we're supposed to be going. Sometimes we need a friend's hand to lead the way.
Sometimes time stops and I think that's because we are just supposed to stop and look around a try to enjoy the journey not just try to escape from pain and grief.
The painful journey may be a long one. And different friends may help at different times or take shifts in guiding you through the muck and sometimes you may feel like you're wading in it alone, but it'd be a shame to never see the beauty that's around you in these challenging times.
I guess that's what I've been doing the last few months. Stopping to smell the roses. Yes, I still have cancer and I am an absolute stinker when it comes to taking my medication everyday and yes we're not sure if we can ever really be free of it or of worrying about whether it'll come back again some day, but if we hold our breath that long, we'll all be dead anyway! Mom is still a bit crazy about germs and doesn't let me get out much or play with kids my own age, but, she's finally starting to realize that life is for living now. She's realizing that there are good things do to and enjoy that can parallel our grief, our worries, and our crazy chemo schedule. Sure, life might change again at the drop of a hat, and a fever might come and we'll have to drop everything and run to the hospital, but waiting in the car seat with my bag packed is not much of a life...
So I'm trying to get back into the swing of things, these days. I am seeing a new speech therapist because at sometime I'll really need to start using my words. Mom and Dad aren't holding back in pushing the academics for me. Nope, move over cancer, this kid has got things to learn. I am starting to learn my ABC's and we just got a Memory card game with my favorite Sesame Street character, Elmo, and his friends on them for me to play with each afternoon. Mom brought up John and Diana's old 3 year old books and I'm reading those everyday too. I'm going to the park some this summer, even though there are other kids there and yes, their germs, but it's a great place for me to practice my stair climbing and the slide...
When you sit at the top of the slide, not much fun happens there. It's when you finally let go, when you let yourself slide that the fun happens. It's when you allow the change to happen, you feel the wind on your face and you let the thrill if the ride take you...
And just like that, at the drop of a dime, you're enjoying life more than you were before. I hope you enjoy the journey too.
Here I am wearing my 4th of July outfit and a new hat my friend Kelly made for me!
Blowing bubbles this summer is sticky but fun!
Corn on the cob season makes me smile!
My brother and sister and I were invited to a superhero costume party! My brother is Bone Boy, My sister is Catwoman, and I'm Captain Chemo!
Mom has me signed up for swimming lessons! I love it!
Here's me, smelling the flowers.
My second hair bow! My hair is coming back in!
